A Royal Flush
by So-crates Johnson
Summary: A friendly game of cards among the princes turns into a battle of egos. Includes characters from Disney's Beauty and the Beast, Tangled, The Princess and the Frog, and Mulan.


"Ante up, gentlemen."

Against his better judgment, Adam tossed a handful of coins onto the pile in the center of the table. Guiltily, he wondered what Belle would think if she knew where he was right now. He _should_ have been in the ballroom, where she had left him, celebrating the twenty-fifth wedding anniversary of the king and queen of Corona. But instead, he was in the king's private office, gambling with a group of strangers - a group that, it was worth noting, did _not_ include the king.

To his left was a dashing, well-dressed man in his early twenties with olive skin and thick, dark hair that was tousled _just_ enough to make Adam wonder if the effect had been intentional. He reclined lazily in his chair, the picture of perfect composure except for his foot, which bounced absently against the floor as if tapping in time to a beat that only he could hear.

His demeanor couldn't have been any different from that of the young Chinese man seated directly across from Adam. If his powerful physique and ramrod posture hadn't immediately given him away as a military man, then his impeccable appearance and quiet reserve probably would have. He hadn't said more than a handful of words since their group had snuck away from the party, but his body language clearly indicated that he was not a man who was used to breaking rules. His frequent nervous glances toward the door - to which Adam had his back - left Adam with the unsettling feeling that he was about to be set upon by some unseen foe.

And lastly, there was the ringleader of this ill-advised escapade: a fast-talking, easygoing fellow who had introduced himself as "Eugene." The medallion fixed to his sash was fashioned in the sun-shaped form of Corona's royal emblem, which identified him as a member of the king's family. That didn't exactly explain why he had needed to pick the lock to the office door - or why he even knew _how_ to do that - but Adam hoped that, if they got caught, being in Eugene's company would at least smooth things over with the guards.

The man across from Adam cast another uneasy look at the door, and Adam pretended to busy himself with the knickknacks arranged along the nearby shelf as he stole an apprehensive peek over his shoulder. The cards in Eugene's hands continued to smack noisily against each other as he deftly shuffled the deck - and then, abruptly, the noise stopped. Several moments of silence followed. "Are you going to cut, or are you just going to stare at them until they cut themselves?"

Adam turned back toward the table. Eugene had finished shuffling, and was offering the deck to the soldier, who was eying the cards as if they might bite him. "Are you sure that we should be in here?" he asked, ignoring Eugene's question.

"_Relax_," Eugene drawled impatiently. "Sheesh, are you always this much fun at parties? What's got your armor in a twist now?"

"This is the _king's_ office," the other man observed in a low, earnest voice.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Eugene rolled his eyes.

"It's _General_ Obvious, actually. I mean Li. I mean - _General Li_." He closed his eyes and exhaled sharply. "_Shang_ - just call me Shang. And if this is the king's office, then how come the king doesn't know we're _in_ here?" he pressed, finally voicing the thing that had been gnawing at Adam.

Eugene raised an eyebrow as he casually squared the deck. "In case you hadn't noticed, the king is a little busy at the moment. I hardly thought it was the time to bother him over something as trivial as a little locked door. But _trust me_, he won't mind us borrowing his study for a friendly game of - _hey_, don't touch that!" He leaned over and swatted Adam's hands away from an antique clock that Adam had been about to lift from the shelf.

"Sorry!" Adam apologized, holding his hands up defensively. "It looks just like a friend of m - I mean, just like one I used to have; I just wanted to get a better look."

"Yeah, well, _don't_," Eugene whined. "The king loves that thing. Break it and we _will_ be in trouble. If you're going to be all handsy, at least make yourself useful and open this," he ordered, sliding a bottle across the table.

"I only meant," Shang continued stubbornly, "that someone is eventually bound to notice that the four of us are missing."

"Look, if you're that worried about it, feel free to go back to the party at any time," Eugene offered. "If you leave now, I'm sure you can still make it back in time for the next act of Fang's puppet show," he added slyly.

Shang winced at the reminder of the puppet show, clearly torn between his law-abiding instincts and his dismay at the thought of sitting through another quirky performance by the thuggish-looking ... entertainment. "Well ... all right," he finally conceded. "As long as we're not gone for _too_ long."

Eugene grinned. "Now you're talking." He began to deal out the cards, working his way around the table in a clockwise direction. "How's it going with the drinks?" he asked, shooting a quick look at Adam.

"Fine," Adam grunted, still struggling with the stopper. "What's in here, anyway?"

"Just a little of the house brew from the Snuggly Duckling. Tastes like sewage, but at least it's strong. Guaranteed to put some hair on your chest."

"Just what I need," Adam muttered under his breath. The cork finally worked free with a loud _pop!_ and shot out of his hands like a bullet.

"_Faldi faldonza_!" The man on Adam's left, who had until this point been quietly observing the ongoing debate, groaned in pain.

"I'm so sorry!" Adam gasped. "Did it hit you?"

"Yes, but do not worry about it," the man said graciously, waving away Adam's attempts to help. "I am sure it is nothing but a flesh wound." He brushed his cape away from his shoulder and rolled up the sleeve of his finely tailored shirt to get a better look at the damage; a large purplish contusion was already beginning to form on his forearm.

Adam cringed. "I'm _really_ sorry," he apologized again.

Eugene craned his neck to get a better look at the bruise. "You'll live, Naveen," he judged dismissively. "In fact, I think it's an improvement - ladies dig scars, you know."

"Oh, I know," Naveen replied smoothly. "I already have quite a spectacular one."

"Really?" Eugene deadpanned. He gave Naveen a long, appraising look, purposely making a show of inspecting his fashionable attire and perfectly groomed appearance. "I had no idea that manicures could be so dangerous." Shang choked back a laugh, and Adam quickly hid behind his hand. He felt badly enough that his clumsiness had caused Naveen's injury; even though he appeared to be fine, Adam didn't want to be caught _laughing_ about the incident.

"Oh, you are funny," Naveen countered with good-natured sarcasm. "Well guess what, funny man, it is not _from _a manicure; it is a _real_ scar."

"Oh yeah?" Eugene scoffed. "And how did you get it?"

"It is a harrowing tale ...," Naveen paused for dramatic effect, "... involving a diabolical Shadow Man who stole my blood and then turned me into a frog!"

Shang grimaced in disgust. "He stole your blood?"

"He turned you into a _frog_?" Adam echoed incredulously.

"Have you met Pascal?" Eugene asked in a bored tone.

"It is all true," Naveen nodded, seemingly pleased by the others' appropriately horrified reactions. "I was naturally able to thwart his evil scheme, but the experience left me hideously disfigured."

Eugene leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Oh yes? Well feast your eyes ... on _this_!" Naveen exclaimed as he proudly brandished his index finger.

Eugene looked over his shoulder. Then he turned slowly back to Naveen. His gaze dropped to Naveen's extended finger, and then returned to his face. He frowned. "What are you pointing at?"

"What? I am not _pointing_ at anything!" Naveen shook his head impatiently. "I am showing you my scar - it is right here, see?" He waved his finger emphatically under Eugene's nose.

Shang leaned forward as he narrowed his eyes at Naveen's fingertip. "Oh," he murmured. "I think I see something."

"If you kind of squint at it," Adam agreed, tilting his head to the side.

"_That_ is where the Shadow Man wounded me with his creepy voodoo charm," Naveen explained.

Eugene snorted. "That's _it_? Really? That's your hideous disfigurement? That's nothing. See this?" He motioned to the enormous pile of money sitting in front of him. "I will bet you_ all_ of this that _my_ scar is better than yours. What do you say, Kermit?"

Naveen straightened in his seat and looked questioningly to Adam and Shang, as if seeking their opinion of Eugene's challenge. Adam shrugged unhelpfully, and Shang appeared to be equally at a loss. "All right," Naveen agreed after a moment's hesitation, pushing his own stack of coins toward the center of the table. "You have a deal."

Eugene smiled smugly, and then unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a raised white mark marring the skin just below his ribcage. "Now _this_ is a scar. I took a dagger rescuing my wife from her overprotective mother."

"You were attacked by her _mother_?" Naveen smirked.

"She snuck up on me!" Eugene argued. "And did I mention the dagger? That thing hurt like hell. Nearly killed me, too," he added. "But I'm sure your little paper cut really stung for a second or two." He looked to the others beseechingly, as if asking for them to back him up.

"His scar is _bigger_ than yours," Shang reasoned, shooting Naveen an apologetic look.

"_Thank_ you." Eugene smiled as if this settled everything, and then leaned forward to collect his winnings.

But his way was blocked by Adam's arm, which shot suddenly across the table. "Hang on," Adam blurted impulsively. The look of surprise on his face was mirrored by his companions' startled expressions. "I - I think I can top that." His heart began to hammer in his chest as he untucked his shirt and raised the hem - there was no backing down now that he had made such a brazen claim. He pointed to a jagged cicatrix running up his side. "See that? I got _that_ when my wife's jealous ex stabbed me with a hunting knife." There was a low murmur of approval from the group that made him feel slightly less reckless about sharing this story with them. "Well," he amended, almost to himself, "Gaston was never_ really _her ex."

"That's ok," Eugene said amiably. "Gothel was never really Rapunzel's mother." He stroked the hair on his chin thoughtfully. "But this certainly makes things more interesting. What do _you_ think?" he asked, turning to Shang. "You're a soldier, right? You must have seen some pretty gnarly battle injuries."

"Well," Shang began humbly, "I don't like to brag, but -,"

He was interrupted by a knock. The four men tensed as the door swung open a few inches, and a young woman's head peeked around the corner. "Shang!" she exclaimed in exasperation. "There you are! I've been looking _everywhere_ for you!" Her relief quickly gave way to bewilderment as her eyes swept across the rest of the room. Adam hastily tugged his shirt back into place. His face burned so hot that he thought he might melt right there - and he almost wished that he would, just to spare him from the humiliation of being exposed in front of this unfamiliar woman. Eugene coughed and attempted to discreetly re-fasten his buttons. Naveen leaned awkwardly on his elbow in an unsuccessful effort to block the jackpot on the table from view. The woman raised an eyebrow. "Um, what's going on in here?"

"It's nothing, Mulan," Shang hastily assured her.

"It's just guy talk," Eugene supplied helpfully. "We were taking bets on who has the coolest scar."

"_Oh_." Mulan's colorful skirts swished gently as she stepped around the door. Now that she was in full view, Adam could see that she was petite and slender - almost dainty-looking - and lovely in an unassuming sort of way. This only heightened his embarrassment at having been caught by her in the middle of such a lowbrow, ego-driven competition. "So who won?"

Eugene threw Shang a wary glance. "Uh, well, we were just getting to that."

"Then there's still time for a late entry?"

_"_I ... well ... sure," Eugene stammered. "But I should warn you," he added kindly, "the competition is pretty stiff. We're talking mortal wounds here."

"Is this grisly enough?" Mulan asked eagerly. She parted the seam of her _quju_ just enough to reveal an angry red laceration that stretched across half of her abdomen. Shang dropped his head into his hand. Adam's and Naveen's jaws fell.

Eugene sat back and let out a low whistle. "How did you do _that_?"

Mulan frowned. "I'm not _exactly_ sure. I mean, it was most likely a Hun sword. They ambushed our squad in the mountains, and there was a battle - there were hundreds of them coming at us, and everything just happened so quickly. I didn't even realize I'd been injured until after I rescued Shang from the avalanche."

"An _avalanche_?"

"During the _battle_?"

"_You_ rescued _him_?"

"Mmhmm," Mulan nodded. "Right before he deserted me in the snow," she added, throwing a teasing look at Shang.

Three pairs of disbelieving eyes turned toward Shang for confirmation. He lifted his shoulders helplessly. "It's all true."

Eugene exhaled loudly and pushed the pile of cash across the table. "She wins."

* * *

><p><em>I owe a huge thanks (and possibly some cookies) to TrudiRose for helping me work through some issues with this story - thank you, Trudi!<em>


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